Well, that was weird

I know that my lovely, wonderful, caring parents understand me because they are always recommending top-notch films and television dramas for my viewing pleasure. They don't just throw out recommendations willy-nilly - they have an exacting, hi-tech, algorithm-filled vetting process that goes a little something like this:
1) Watch.
2) Become confused.
3) Decide the watched thing is weird.
4) Call me and say, "Have you seen this thing? You'd like it - IT'S WEIRD."
 
I am that person in my family.

If my parents were to recommend something to my sister or their friends or the mailman or the dog, they might say, "You'd like it - it's interesting/jentacular/touching/happy-making." But for me, it's just "weird," the subtext being "[like you! You zany kid with your Brooklyn and your ugly gremlin dog!]"


A few weeks ago, my mom called. She took a while building to her big reveal; she asked about my job hunt, my boyfriend, the dog, my life. Because she's a kind and patient lady, she only yawned twice during this part. Finally, she reached the point where she could start asking me the really important stuff:

"Have you seen this show Willard or Wally or Wilfred or whatever? With the dog?"

"Um...with Elijah Wood? No. Why?'

"Your dad and I watched it the other night."

"Annnnnnnd?" [my mom knows how to build suspense]

"Well, I think you should watch it."

"Whyyyyyyy?"

"It's just....weird."

"So I would like it becauuuusssse....?" [at this point, my "questioning tone" is so exaggerated I am squeaking into my upper registers at the end of each sentence]

"I think you should watch it. It's so....strange."

"Okay."

She was right.

I haven't watched enough of this show to decide whether I like it or if it's just weird or if I like because it's just weird. I also haven't watched enough to understand if this guy is really just a dog or an imaginary projection from Elijah Wood's little hobbit mind or...something? Does he serve a purpose other than creating a wacky premise for television?

And is it part of the joke that he's in a cheap dog suit? Or is FX just cheap?

Either way, not to worry, Wilfred, about the middle-class parents of America thinking you are bizarro because I have a genius marketing idea that will have you all over the Facebook mom network before you can shake those ridiculous ears:

WILFRED-IZE YOUR DOG.

Yes, moms of America. Stop picking Farmtopia Huckleberries right this instant and start creating your own canine psychotic projections on the internet!

Step 1: Choose from a closet full of polyester dog suits, each designed to resemble a particular breed.

Step 2: Customize - add spots, change the color, make one ear flip and the other flop. Whatever. Whatever you need to do to make it look like your dog/take up time while you wait for your latest photo album to load.

Step 3: Choose a person to put in the dog suit. It can be you (? I dunno...that seems strange) or your friends or your kids or one of a pre-selected set of face models.

Step 4: Select a dog-pun line for your personal Wilfred to say.

Step 5: Post to Facebook! E-mail to all your friends! Spread the word of Wilfred!

Step 6: Wait for my mom to call me and ask if I've tried it because, "It's weird, you'd like it."

Step 1

+

Step 3 (but probably don't use a pic of David Sedaris. Unless you know him, then, cool.)

=

An image that I lack the technological know-how to actually create, but you get the gist, no?

This will work! And it will be a hit! And then my mom will keep calling me asking me if I've seen my dad's Wilfred (because it's weird) and my sister's Wilfred (it's just so strange) and this crazy new show blahblahblah because that's what's WEIRD now, and I WILL LIKE IT.