Sexual violins on a Sunday

Per my weekend routine, I was watching CBS Sunday Morning a few hours ago. It was delightful.

The End.


JK dudes! I had to write something because, during the peaceful, simple hour and a half of CBSSM, a commercial came on that nearly shattered my conception of everything CBSSM is about.

There was a dark screen, and a fierce orchestral screeching struck up! Murky, quasi-religious symbols floated in the background, and then excited, deep-voiced announcer guy came on to tell us about, "a new CD, from the most exciting violinist OF ALL TIME."

Bold claim, deep-voiced announcer guy! I mean, there are so many truly thrilling classical musicians running around, titillating America these days!

This particular violinist has a secret weapon, though: he is SEXY. He emerges from the blackness, square jaw clenched, luxurious blond locks swept back into a Fabio-esque ponytail (except, of course, for a single, come-hither tendril, falling over his intense, jewel-like eyes). His black, button-down shirt has been rent apart (no doubt by hormonally crazed female fans) to show his smooth, muscular chest. And thus, HE PLAYS. Rhythmically, forcefully, EXCITINGLY.

I was so blown away, I neglected to catch the name of this classical Casanova, so, sadly, though I wanted nothing more than to share this soul-plumbing experience with you, I cannot find it on YouTube (although I searched "sexy violinist" "most exciting violinist" and even "violin, sexy, long hair"). Nor does this man exist on Amazon, where searches for America's favorite violin CDs (and who knew there would be so many?) yielded only track upon track of Joshua Bell  - a floppy-haired child! He cannot satisfy our violin needs!

Readers, please, be alert. If you hear a violin, and it touches your heart in a way no violin has before - take note! This is our man - the man who will lead the sexual violin revolution. Write down his name and then find his commercial. You will not be disappointed.

Post-script: I was looking for a picture to run with this, and, apparently, only women are allowed to be sexy violin players. DID I DREAM OF THIS MAN?