Starbucks coffee tastes like it was poured from a chumbucket full of ashes.
I have been trying to tell people this for YEARS, and they have never listened to me. Instead, they stare at me blankly, and I have to turn around all sadfaced and misunderstood and leave them to their horrible horrible coffe.
I ask myself, "Why do they not immeidately agree with me? Is it because they are not sure what 'chumbucket' means? Is it because they enjoy ashes? Do I not understand human tastebuds?"
But now I know that they are all fools, and I was RIGHT:
http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/food/2009/02/05/2009-02-05_eight_oclock_coffee_beats_starbucks_dunk.html
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