A complete inventory of my foodstuffs

- 3/4 cup of dry roasted mixed nuts
- 1/2 gallon orange juice
- month-old pancetta
- 5 lb. bag sour patch kids

I think this is funny.

And, until I figure out how to concoct a magical elixir from the above ingredients, that's all you get for today's funny. thelaurenbell has the plague, and the pressure upon her sinuses is actually pressing her nose back into her brain, killing the center of witty thought that lies precisely in that area of her noggin. huge problem. we're having all the world's leading experts look into it and hope to be up and running tomorrow -- or at least have a more exciting excuse for not writing, like land-roving future-shark invasions.